Gently
by PossiblyWeeb
Summary: He would be better off without me. I'm just a burden to him. (One-shot, Sayori POV)


I can't breath. My eyes are closed, and my thoughts are clouded. I rise suddenly from my bed, breathing heavily. My eyes are stained with tears. I went to sleep last night happy, so happy, after hearing him say that he loved me. My childhood friend, since we were both little kids. He had looked after me for so long, caring for me and protecting me. And yet, thinking back to yesterday, I can't feel anything but pain when I recall his words. "I love you," he said. But I find myself doubting his words. He doesn't care about me anymore. He doesn't want to love me, nor does he want my love. He just doesn't want to hurt me, that's all.

I've been nothing but a burden to him. I'm always getting in his way. I don't make him happy. He finds his happiness in the other three. All I do is ruin his day. He doesn't deserve to have this dead weight hanging around him. He deserves better than me. He deserves the other girls. He doesn't need me. He would be better off without me. I'm just a burden to him.

* * *

I look in my hands and study my craftsmanship. The long rope, ending in a wide loop, lies carefully in my palms. I sigh. He would be better off without me anyways. I'm just a burden to him. I sit there for a few minutes. A few minutes turn to many more. Finally, I stand up. I walk over to my desk and look at the little chair I would sit on to do homework and write poems. Poems. For him.

I move the chair to the center of my room. Standing on it, I attach the end of the rope to the ceiling. He would be better off without me. I'm just a burden to him. I repeat these words to myself as I tighten the rope around my neck. He would be better off without me. And yet, I almost feel bad, as if I'm taking away a part of him. I take one last glance outside my window. I see the last person I expected to see walking towards my house.

He would be better off without me.

And I let my feet slip off the chair.

* * *

I can't breath. My hands begin to claw at my neck, but not of my own free will. I can hear him walking up the stairs.

"Sayori?" he says.

I wish I could respond.

"Sayori? Wake up, dummy..."

I wish I could. I wish I could wake up with him at my side to tell me everything was just a dream, a nightmare.

* * *

My vision starts to fade. My hands are still feebly clawing at the rope, to no effect. I see the door gently open. It's him. He sees me, danging from the ceiling by a rope. I can see him holding back the tears and vomit when he sees that my hands are still moving. He rushes beneath me, resting my legs on his shoulders. Seeing him here, seeing him saving me from the grasp of death, makes me think that he does care. He coaxes me into removing the rope from my neck. He helps me down from his shoulders and lays me on my bed. I sit up, and we spend what seems like eternity staring at each other in silence. He broke the silence after that.

"Sayori, are you alri-"

I can't help myself. I burst into tears and throw myself into his chest. I wish I could just have a talk with him, but my emotions won't let me. Instead, I find myself sobbing against his chest while he gently combs my hair and whispers calming things into my ear.

I eventually stop crying, not because I chose to, but because I've simply cried my eyes dry. I pull myself back from him, and we look into each other's eyes. More silence. Again, he is the one to break it.

"Why?" he asks.

I try to compose myself, but fail. I manage to squeeze some words out of my mouth while still dry sobbing. "I... I just... you... I'm just a... just a burden... and... and you would... would be better without me..."

He holds me by my shoulders. He gazes steadily into my eyes.

"That's nonsense," he says. "I love you and care about you, I really do. If I come off as rude and uncaring, it's just my nature. I can't help things like that. But, Sayori, I'm not lying when I say that I love you. The other three, they're good people. But they will never replace you in my heart. You hear me?"

I can't do anything but nod slowly. At least my dry sobbing stopped. To hear these words from his lips are all of my hopes and dreams come true.

* * *

He hands me a box of tissues. At first I think it's for my tears, but I look down and see that my fingertips are bloody from clawing away at the rope. I weakly take the box from his hands and clean up my hands and neck. After that, we sit in silence for a while. He, again, breaks the silence.

"Sayo-"

But he gets no farther. I've already pressed my lips into his and wrapped my arms around his body. He's shocked at my suddenness, but slowly melts into my affectionate kiss.


End file.
